The Bible shares events in the book of Hosea with a command from God to marry Gomer whose heart was not true neither to Hosea nor to God. Disgraced and discarded, Hosea was tasked by God to buy her back. What happens in a marriage where severe breakdown occurs? Are there obvious signs? Did unmet marital commitments or expectations lead a heart astray toward another who filled in the gaps that were only meant for their spouse? Were there matters of pride, ego, rebellion, anger, unforgiveness, perhaps even events prior to marriage that left unresolved drove a wedge into a marriage?
Yesterday while on outreach I shared with a brother from church that one of our relationships with God is like a marriage. We as the Church are the bride and Jesus is the groom. I know there are some who only view God as a King commanding and judging; that God only evokes holiness. Although true but we neglect to also view God as He appears multiple times as the One who walks with us in the cool of the day, to visit with us, to guide us as a Father at times, but also to be personal. A Friend as He was to Abraham and Moses but One who is always loving, forgiving, and faithfully there.
And the reason why I emphasize the marriage metaphor (primarily from the text in Ephesians 5) along with other forms of relationship that we can have with God is the importance of relationship. One of the major aspects or ingredients for any relationship is communication. Prayer—often viewed as being one-sided despite our religious minds attempt to grapple with a two-way conversation—is as critical in our relationship with God as communication between a husband and a wife. When one in marriage fails to keep communication often, personal/intimate, transparent, then little by little decay sets in. The Bible serves as a method to help us hone our relationship (in a marital context, as well as in other forms). By understanding the truthful events in the Bible of what happens when people are close with God and what happens when we drift away.
In my second round to read the entire Bible, I am going through the various kings of Israel and Judah and I will confess that it saddens me (as it did years ago when I first read it through). It saddens me because God whom they used to follow, love, revere, hallow, and kept covenant with was kicked to the curb for the pleasures that surrounded them, often initiated by the turning of hearts toward anger that beget choices and consequences or the pursuit of lustful relationships and desires of fulfillment apart from God toward the women of the land. And with this, it is very easy to see the subtle but damaging effects (sadly even appears to be permanent) that set the course of men’s hearts as well as their destinies…yea, even when the destinies reap consequences eaten by their children or generations to follow.
And as what happens in a marriage when we feel there are no more stories to share, no more events to enjoy, the spark seems to have long-since left, we become two adults cohabiting. For the sake of the kids or other reasons we remain together but the bond is not as tight as it once was.
How? How can when two people could be so in love become apart (I would like to interject that God never abandoned His love toward us; it never grows cold toward us)? What we were passionate about and had a vision for gets clouded. Our hearts drift toward coldness (the second law of thermodynamics) where what excited us—salvation of a sinner, miracle healing, prayer time, Bible reading, church attendance, sweet relationships between the brethren, etc.—get replaced with a closing of the heart. Simple possessions give way for more extravagant and more costly possessions which require more (time, money, and effort) from us to keep. Security and comfort become our bedfellows. When did it happen? It never happens suddenly. It never happens overnight. Evangelist Robert Sheffey of the mid to late 1800s said the following when near the end of his life. He comments to a young man who came to Robert asking for forgiveness when the revival meetings (what they used to call Camp(ground) Meetings) ended due to a fire which destroyed the buildings. Unfortunately what was destroyed before the buildings was an erosion in the hearts. And this is what Robert Sheffey allegedly said (which I believe to be prophetic and a pointed finger of our present times well over 120 years later), “God never forces His will on men. He calls them unto Himself, but if they will not follow Him then they have to go their own way. The Campground is gone but not because [it was burned up in a fire] God’s people didn’t want it. So God let them have their way. Every time we give up a part of our faith to try to fit in the ways of the world, we lose it forever. We lose a part of God’s precious promise. Sacrifice to the world and the world will never give it back. And some day when the world tells us we can no longer have our religion except where they say; and God is driven from our schools, our government, and our homes then God’s people can look back and know that our religion was not taken from us. It was given up, handed over, bit by bit until there was nothing left.”
Song of Solomon chapter two warns about the little foxes which go after the vines. Areas that we agree (compromise) to avoid argument, areas we say it is ok to say the little white lie, areas we see people in improper ways or say improper things to them or about them, areas where we chose comfort or less pain or less sacrifice all of which to avoid the “black and white” words of Jesus Christ when He declared in Matthew 10:38-39, “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” And He also said in Matthew 16:26, “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”
We, as Christians and more so for those of us who attend our Fellowship, attend annual conferences, revival meetings, rallies and harvesters, men’s discipleship classes, etc. Wonderful times in the Lord. A time of refreshing and a time of re-orientation. At the conclusion of the three conferences this past week, a number of churches were announced to go out (this past Friday 35 churches were announced out of the conferences). Beautiful and joyous times. But if we are not careful, these events and the others I listed among attending regular church services, outreaches, morning prayer, etc. can become so common that the significance loses its importance. If we are not careful, we attend and go in through the motions—like we do in marriage—that for the sake of relationship or out of pride to not be viewed as less faithful, we dutifully go but our hearts are not in it. Our passion isn’t in it. And this isn’t about going or not going as a pastor or missionary, I’ve written a whole host of writings about that. This is about our relationship with Christ. It is about preparing our hearts along with praying for others’ hearts to be prepared—not just at the event but for people in our cities, cities/nations that workers will go to to be opened and favor granted—along with getting into His word. We may excuse it that we hear preaching all week and that is sufficient enough church, but I will confess that the prayer meetings in the morning (and I arrive an hour earlier than the scheduled prayer time), prayer scheduled an hour before the evening services, and personal Bible reading are just as special and important to me as the messages themselves. It is because—at least for me—my heart is being bared before the Lord allowing Him to deposit His seeds as well as Him to prune or plow my heart/mind for whatever that isn’t pleasing to Him. But why is this important?
It is important because, just like in marriage, if we don’t cultivate and work at our relationship, then the natural tendency is to allow “a this” and then “a that” and then something else dropped off or given over. And as Robert Sheffey said, the world will never give it back. The world hands us an alternate relationship. Diamonds, gold, and furs give way to faux (imitation) items. May look good and to an untrained eye perhaps even real. But it isn’t real. And neither is any relationship apart from the genuine one with Christ. But what do we do? We accept the knock offs instead of selling all to buy the real. It is too much like work to light the lamp (the light of the Gospel and/or His Holy Spirit) and thoroughly rid ourselves (sweep the floors) in order to find that which was lost. What was lost? To be intentional. To make effort; to really push through. For what? Those intimate prayer times that can never be found again with the Lord when our time is occupied with news, sports, music, or other things. Time in His Word to prepare ourselves give way to less-effort work such as ministry tasks. (In other words we are busy doing ministry that our hearts are not prepared and so we are just doing church tasks but not effectively ministering to anyone because our hearts were never properly ministered to in the prayer room. Time that we could pray without ceasing by involving God in every aspect of our lives as well as taking the time to ask God about His day and what He desires to speak sadly give way to “here is Your task list God and don’t bother me until You’re done”.
Forgive me for being very crass or base in saying this, but a roll in the sack isn’t going to resolve years of problems and neglect in a marriage. Just like a singular event at church or conference isn’t going to resolve our marital relationship with God. Under the surface matters—far beyond the committing of sins—need to be uprooted and cast aside. This takes time, surrender, and being vulnerable. Time management needs to go into effect. Self control over our thoughts, desires, and words spoken are just as important or more so than curbing soda, Taco Bell, and chocolate. Adding more church services or events to our schedule isn’t the solution (albeit we do need to be actively involved in our churches, for the right reasons). When my wife was going to be my wife many years ago and prior to vows exchanged, phone numbers, addresses, etc. had to be cut off and destroyed. Devotion to one (her) was all that mattered. And the same holds true with our relationship with God: total abandonment to God. Total surrender to God. And the fuel to help in this purging to burn away the distractions and things that separate us from God is gratitude. When we complain about our spouse not fulfilling some desire or whatever, we are not complaining to a friend; we are complaining to God. That He failed. He made a mistake. And the same holds true in other areas of our Christian walk. We are not grateful that God blessed us with a job in the first place because all we think about is that we don’t have enough money. We are not grateful for the wife/husband we have because someone else incorrectly viewed would be better. We are not grateful to God for salvation (and the ultimate reward of heaven and to spend eternity with God) so we fill our heart’s pleasure with toys, hobbies, and things to occupy our time. We cheapen our walk with God with religion. We lessen our passion for emotional fluff or anything else to soften the cutting edge of a sharp relationship with God.
When was the last time we spent time to just thank Jesus and begin to go down a list without asking Him for anything in return? When was the last time that instead of expect God (or His people) to serve our needs that we serve God (by serving His people and the world as in winning the lost) His plans and promises? When was the last time we asked God “tell me about Your day” and we allow God to share His desires. He gives us His list of people to pray for. He gives us a list of things we need to pray for. For us to be open to what God wants to lead or what God wants to have fixed in our lives or what God wants us to be a part of? As James 4:8 begins with, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”, let us (Joshua 23:8), “cleave unto the LORD your God…” May we stop our hearts from behaving like Gomer, but sink ourselves into the loving arms of Jesus because He paid the price for us (on Calvary with His blood), and be restored into right relationship with God. The Bridegroom comes! The music is playing. Prepare ourselves for the coming of the Lord (1 Thessalonians 3:13 and 5:23, 1 John 2:28, and Revelation 22: 7, 12, 20).