One of the things I appreciate what my parents did was to make me reliant on myself. It wasn’t necessarily a matter of lack of trust of other people or a fear for being let down when help never arrived or would arrive late. To speak plainly my parents didn’t want a baby or a “mama’s boy” who couldn’t do things without someone having to basically do it all. How many of us agree that it isn’t healthy for a teen or adolescent unable to tie their shoes or needing help with doing things that ought to have been taught and learned when considerably younger? And it wasn’t a matter of pride to not ask for help, but help was to be asked only when help was truthfully needed.
A small time in my life (for about 6 weeks or so) toward the end of my fourth grade year I found myself unable to do some things…even simple things like tying my shoes, getting dressed or undressed, or anything that required the free use of both of my hands and arms. Why? I broke my collarbone. For the initial couple of weeks I had to use a sling to hold my left arm in a stationary position while the whole time of healing I wore a brace (I called it the bra because it was two soft rings that went around my shoulders and it was tied together in the back). This brace was to pull my shoulders back to allow the collarbone to heal grow back straight. During this time I needed help. It did strengthen my dependence upon my right arm and hand, but as I said simple tasks (even to effectively go to the bathroom) required assistance. I needed help. Usually it was available or did the best that I could. Often when help was needed it required me to wait for it to eventually come. Sometimes I had no help and much to the dismay of my parents, it was difficult to ignore the need to use my other arm to get whatever done accomplished.
Whether for me as a child or for other people, all of us need measures of help. There have been jobs—even jobs that were incorrectly portrayed as can be done by one person—that I solicited help to hold things, carry things, lift things, or do something that I was physically incapable to do. Some jobs required a substitute or someone else to lead while I offered assistance instead. Generally during times where/when help is needed, we experience a measure of grace because whatever it was was beyond our abilities. And during these times the help we received for a proper word picture can be one word: strength. Going at everything alone can cause more problems than had we humbled ourselves to ask or receive the help when offered. I remember a man who noticeably was struggling to carry a number of bags and items in his hands. I offered twice to help carry or share the load and was denied. Nearing the end of his burden, a jar of pickles tumbled out from a bag and fell to the floor making a horrible mess. He immediately realized that there was no one else to blame but himself…he was offered help and refused it.
A moment recorded in three of the four gospels was Jesus carrying the cross (what is referred to as the Via Dolorosa) and the cross became too much to bear. (I will control my feelings concerning the Romans beating Him mercilessly not to mention the beating and spitting he received by the hands of the Pharisees and the church’s guard (aka “church people”).) I will use Mark’s Gospel (which was Peter’s testimony) to share what it says in Mark 15:21, “Then they compelled a certain man, Simon a Cyrenian, the father of Alexander and Rufus, as he was coming out of the country and passing by, to bear His cross.” Help was requested. In the movie The Passion of the Christ, Simon is portrayed as one who reluctantly carried the cross but wanted to make the point abundantly clear that he was innocent of “this man’s crime”. Just a minor amount of sub fact to insert, Cyrene was an ancient city in Libya (Africa) and art often portrayed this man as being black. Further Cyrene was a Greek colony and a major cultural center of Greek philosophy and medicine. The city also had a significant population of Jews and Jewish proselytes (see Acts 2:10). So Simon, who was visiting Jerusalem for the Passover most likely, and was compelled (without virtually any choice to reject) to carry or help carry the cross of Christ. This man would have most likely seen other criminals on a cross on his journey from Cyrene. He would have also seen two other men carrying their cross (or crossbeam) for their execution. Regardless—if we were to apply Mel Gibson’s add-in as accurate—I am more than certain that Simon had personal time with Jesus. Simon smelled the stench of the dried blood and sweat permeating from Jesus. Perhaps he even caught a whiff of the anointing fragrance gladly sacrificed days prior. He saw Jesus with clenched teeth trying to carry the burden alone. He wasn’t there to hear Jesus speak these words years prior (Matthew 11:28-30), “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” He most likely didn’t hear these words directly from Christ when He said (Matthew 16:24-25), “…If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny Himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save His life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” And Simon would have most definitely been absent when the disciples argued over who led the biggest outreach, who has the biggest church, who collected the biggest offerings, and who preached the most impactful sermons when arguing who was the greatest. Simon sees this crowd moving, perhaps heard of Jesus, maybe was even present at the triumphant entry to Jerusalem days prior, or perhaps completely unaware of how Jesus was at all, but Simon was tasked to carry this cross. Jesus didn’t push Simon aside for Him to carry it alone. Jesus didn’t refuse the help because after all, it was Jesus who was to be crucified for it was Him and Him alone who would save mankind. In this moment…perhaps 30 minutes or longer, up the rocky hillside, loose rocks slipping under their shoes, heavy breathing, chants and taunts from all those around, being spurred on by the Roman soldiers, onward and upward Simon helped Jesus. And this moment made an impact for Jesus…and for Simon. Simon would NEVER forget this moment. And when his burden was relieved at the crest of Golgotha, perhaps a pictorial sermon from Jesus of sacrifice, love, and mercy was conveyed to Simon. Both were helped. Both needed help beyond what they could have manufactured in of themselves. And in this both found grace and strength. Additionally Mark’s gospel mentions that Simon of Cyrene was the father of Rufus. Bible scholars believe this Rufus mentioned in Mark is the same one mentioned in Romans 16:13, “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine.” Rufus was a pastor whose salvation story goes back to what his father shared when he got home with his family that Friday evening. Further, Paul goes a little further to say that Rufus was “chosen in the Lord”. What a testimony! Fathers, it behooves us to pay attention to not just what we say but also what we do because our little ones (and others) are watching. They can see genuineness, sincerity, and character…or the lack thereof, especially when we are one way in church and another outside of church.
No one will deny that the Apostle Paul would be considered a giant of faith and a man who truly was all in or wholly sold out for Jesus. A man who easily prayed for people and saw miracles. A man beaten (stoned) to death got back up and went back to preaching. He had dominion. He had authority. He had a testimony. And like all of us he had his limit. Argued and debated by many a Bible scholar as to what it was, Paul prayed for something to change. He prayed for deliverance from the thorn in the flesh. He prayed for healing. He prayed. Many a man would agree that when George Müller prayed all heaven would fall silent. And so no doubt that Paul would have been viewed as even a greater than Mr. Müller but what was the response from God? Did Paul get healed of his malady (whatever it was)? 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'” Grace is unmerited favor given to someone who is broken or found guilty and has the punishment commuted. Grace is applied only by the one who can judge, to sentence, and to cast away. Grace is only given by one in power or from above. Strength is something to increase stamina, power, or endurance. Strength is refreshing. Strength gives us the potent ingredient to complete a task or burden. And by the grace and strength from the Lord, did Paul understand something? His help—grace and strength—wasn't coming from himself. His help was not a waving of a wand. And his help was not to be absent of the malady in his life.
And often this is difficult to understand because our default desire is to always be absent of pain, suffering, lack, and burdens to carry. We want help. But the help we need sometimes isn't what we ask for or are desiring. Our help comes differently. Our help isn't a reliance on what we can see. Our help isn't from inside ourselves, a digging in, or foolishly trusting our heart or minds. Psalm 121 begins with a man/Israel who looks from what man perceives that the source of help comes from. But when he looks beyond to the true source of help, his help comes from the One who made heaven and earth. Strength and grace isn't in man, not in money, not in position, not in this world, and not of this world. Therefore, let us not reach out for our help with trepidation. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” We don't need to wait until we are at the end of ourselves with no lifelines left to then turn to Christ. 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 says, “And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God”. Reach out, take His hand, and let our Abba Father guide, direct, cover, and be our sufficiency. Let His mercy and strength be our comfort.