Why? A simple three-letter word sends a rush of feelings to people who have asked that question. Why…and then we continue with that inquisitive beginning. We may strive for answers. We may demand for answers. We may throw our hands up in the air and turn away from anyone or anything. We may surrender all and dig deeper in our faith, as if a divine compass will guide us to the answers we seek—even if answers elude us for the rest of our lives.
And with the myriad of things, events, and people we ask why, none is ever more painful than the loss of a close loved one. Despite attempts for comforting words, accepting “they are in a better place” isn’t usually our deeper concern and truthfully brings not much comfort (I wrote about this about year ago). Some ask, why them and not me? Some in another way prefer that it should had been themselves and not that significant loved one who died. For some, he/she was taken before their time as if we are all granted a long life to live out to include childhood, young adulthood, marriage, children, career (hopefully a satisfying one), grandchildren, ripe old age, to then face death of “which way will my life be extinguished”. And for those who fear death, they turn to alternatives. Despite it being a future reality, some comfort themselves to want to be taken in the rapture to secure themselves in heaven because they truly fear that their life’s choices have been poor and will having damning consequences or certainly an accounting they are not ready to face. For others they desire to cheat death using methods of medicines, potions, herbs, cryogenic freezing, etc. But the Bible never promised us a measured lease of life (see James 4:13-16).
Why? Because whether deep down or even at the surface, we want to be in charge. We, like books and movies that have a directed ending, want our lives to be governed and determined by no one else but us, that even includes God. Why is there a fear away or deterring desire for God to control such matters of our lives—when in truth He possesses that and a whole lot more—when we foolishly believe we know better? Amongst a number of the psalms in the Bible, David (and others) realize that they are not in charge. Whether by knowing the frame of their lives or accepting that we are not God but just sheep in His pasture, we dislike truly surrendering all to Him.
Surrendering and allowing God to write the narrative—despite all the seen and unseen characters involved acting it all out on the grand stage of life—leaves an air of unknown or mystery. It’s not a cliff-hanger ending. It’s not an ending that continues the saga. And because of that, knowing when the curtain will be drawn and an applause given is frustrating to us. We want to know how the story ends with us accepting it or wanting to rewrite it For the Christian, we know where...it's the how we get there we're a bit fuzzy on.
But how do you write a narrative of your family who are hundreds to perhaps thousands of miles away and one cannot do anything about it? So was the life of Horatio Spafford. And his life follows a slightly similar initial trend as Job of the Bible. Despite being a successful attorney making lots of money and an active church member, his fortunes (through ownership of land and properties) were destroyed by the Great Chicago fire of 1871. Add in the economic downturn of 1873 which hit everyone in America hard. And then when things couldn’t get worse, him and his family planned a vacation trip to England to visit a man whom they had financially blessed—D.L. Moody—and his ministerial efforts. And no matter how hard he tried, Horatio couldn’t go so he sent his wife and four daughters ahead. On the voyage to England, the ship collided with another ship and sank very quickly. The lone survivor? Horatio’s wife. His four daughters included with the 262 others perished.
Writing this from a husband and father’s point of view, many men, perhaps even most men, the loss of employment hits and so long as we have our family, we somehow maybe can make it (provided our foundation is in Christ and His blessed view of our family). People turn their back on us (men), but so long as we have our family…we continue on. Sickness hits and we go into combat mode. We like being the protector. We like being depended upon. We like our strength to be a steely resolve. But for a man to lose so much in such a short time, I have seen men quit. I have seen men stay stuck—never growing or gaining ground. And for Horatio Spafford while aboard his vessel en route to comfort his grieving wife that when he was near the area where the family’s ship was hit and sunk, he penned some words that eventually were put to music. The first verse and chorus says, “When peace like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know it is well, it is well, with my soul. It is well, (it is well), with my soul, (with my soul), it is well, it is well, with my soul”. Through devastation, he surrendered and trusted in God more. They (him and his wife) trusted God more. When some struggle to find words, Horatio’s penned words summarize our desire to fulfill the ever-present why. It is worth reading the whole chorus.
Why, a year ago, was a good friend of mine granted deliverance from his body of torment…to no longer live in it pain free here, but to be in His presence but away from us (for a time)? I wonder what words were in his mind while taking his final labored breaths? What words are in mine presently? It is well, it is well, it is well with my soul.