Lord Jesus, not only myself but also in unison with his family, his church, and the Fellowship, we come before Your throne to ask for Your sovereign hand to be upon Pastor Tom Payne. May Your resurrection power and blood flow upon him to grant him not only healing but strength and anointing upon his life. Lord, there is much land to possess in Your name and we value our fellow soldier and laborer unto you that he has the strength of Caleb to keep at Your will. Amen. (Parenthetically, he is recovering well; all praises to Jesus.)
With that said, I, though, wish to address an elephant in a room. What I will share has nothing to do with Pastor Tom Payne. He is a wonderful man of God who has done decades of powerful things for Jesus, things that I know I couldn’t even hold a Dollar Tree flash light in comparison ever even if I were to outlive him. But his position not only as a pastor and leader but also on the Fellowship council serves as a reminder of some principles which I know are in place. But too often we may ignore realities.
Layers or duration of success can sometimes be an ill-trusted blanket to secure us. I know things are in place concerning him and others in the Fellowship, so to some this I write is meaningless especially coming from me. But after a number of departures of the faith (in and out of our Fellowship) as well as crisis of moral integrity (in and out of our Fellowship), the role of a pastor or leader (even an owner of a business, a teacher, or a President of a country) can lend itself an idea of immortality on earth. We may wink wink at acknowledging that we don’t physically live forever and many excuse the rapture as a justifier to not have to be accountable for actions done on earth in hopes that in the end the ends justified the means (or perhaps the other way around).
But speaking of only a pastor and a leader, fear can creep into the hearts of others. With the “what if” and people begin to fidget with the issues they don’t wish to address. Because of position, desire of security, and lack of trust (in God), we do not wish to hold a reality that James powerfully declared. “[13] Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; [14] whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. [15] Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that." [16] But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. [17] Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin,” James 4:13-17. Despite the advancements of modern medicine and a will inside of many to live, I’ve known of people who smoke and drink and live many decades while others who ate proper (or certainly better) and exercised who died younger (and the reverse holds true as well, so this isn’t an excuse to not take care of our health). But the fact remains that tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Further, to have a fear of death which then propels us toward trusting that the rapture will take us (to avoid death, and judgment) to validate our personal flavor of Christianity despite our poor testimony or witness is not a proper way to live the walk for Christ. (I am fully aware that not every Christian is a bad testimony; that there are genuinely sincere Christians who do live for Christ even if it is against the grain with others, even in the same church. But I personally know of some Christians who’ve been saved for quite a number of years who do not live like they believe what they claim as well as I know some who may speak truth but need some lessons about pride, ego, and rudeness.)
But I digress. The issue, as I know has been preached and I have written before, is the singular question and that is what are we passing on? For some, material possessions, land, and money is a concern. But despite “blessing” someone with more than what they had before is never truly fulfilling or satisfying as eventually they too shall pass and/or things decay, get stolen, or may be sold off later. All that glitter is not gold as William Shakespeare penned. God grants every person a measure of life…no matter how long or short it may be. And within that measure of life, every one of us deposits and receives something from other people. No man is an island. And despite importance and value (even if it comes as self importance and self value), the question remains: what do we pass on? Pastor Payne (and this is meant as no disrespect in any form, but simply using a name to affix to what I am saying) has discipled countless of men. And despite plans, goals, and vision he has or may had or could have had, one day he will stand before Jesus (no matter how much we want an alternative in any form). And the concerns are a number of them: what of his church, what of his Fellowship roll, what of his churches planted, on down to the personal matters of his wife and family. To step aside from the personal matters, he has discipled a host of men and has an assistant pastor. For now, his assistant will assume the pastorate until his pastor returns. If the Lord takes Pastor Payne (now or decades from now), others will step in. And if Pastor Payne medically won’t be able to continue, others will step in. Will these men be another Tom Payne? Perhaps in shades, yes. But each person carries their own gifts bestowed from above and so others will fill the roles he has had…even as a Fellowship board member. But of Pastor Payne, what has he passed on or will pass on? Recently my wife and I recalled a former attorney in Corpus Christi who suddenly died (suicide). When discovered, it was uncovered that he did something inappropriate. So rather than facing it head on, he departed. And sadly all that someone can recall from over a decade ago is a name, he was an attorney, but he killed himself. Nothing else he did or could have done is overshadowed how it all ended.
Admittedly all of this seems cold, calculating, and to diminish the value Pastor Payne brings to the table. Absolutely not! (And again, I am just using his name in place of the countless of others I could use or have used.) However, there is a reality and that is that none of us, save for the rapture, will escape death. And no matter how much we would prefer one over the other, the reality remains. We will live a life and then carried to a hole. What is it that will be passed on? Is it just stuff? I lamented this when my grandfather passed away a year and a half ago that all that was his or of him that could be passed on (materially) fit in two boxes we took from the nursing home. The money he didn’t spend after the sale of his farm? For me, I would empty it all out if I could have another week with him, better yet in his house he built for his wife and family. Is it photos and memories? May those never fade.
Or is it something deposited in us that is passed onto others that gets deposited and then passed onto others. 2 Timothy 2:1-2, 14-15 says, “You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also…Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” There are a host of things we can lift from those four short verses. “My son” conveys not only a heritage or a legacy, but a pedigree as well as dignity. I have spoken to a number of people who lived in the area where my grandparents’ lived all of their lives and have heard nothing but positive things about them. Although pride is wrong, it does make me proud to know I am a part of that. To “be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus” carries an understanding that goes all the way back to the Ark of the Covenant. Contained inside (excluding a couple of other things) were the Ten Commandments. But above it between the cherubim where the glory of God would rest was the mercy seat. Meaning that mercy overrules the law. In other words that we may know truth in the literal or legal abstract, but to rightly divide it means that we know when to apply the Law but when to lean to compassion and have grace. That sin may have its consequence, but condemnation destroys and Jesus didn’t want the woman to be condemned then nor does He desire to condemn now. We are to repent, but to only observe the law, then we are no different than the Pharisees of old, just whitewashed tombs…and they certainly had nothing that passed on. Validation comes from “the many witnesses” as this brings in what Jesus said that things are established by two or three witnesses. What of it in our lives is validated? If we were the one in the casket, what would be said of us? Would there be a repeated testimony? If so, what? To commit things to “faithful men” is an honor and this is where real discipleship is it. Discipleship isn’t mowing the grass, washing the floors, and hearing sermons. Discipleship is what we believe (in the head) is lived out (in life) and devotedly (from the heart). As someone quipped, discipleship isn’t taught, it is caught. It is impartation of heart (knowledge, wisdom, experience, bundled with love, patience, and longsuffering) from one to another. There are a few individuals whom I’ve been honored and privileged to have done that, and to be so bold I believe these are more saved despite being saved a short time than some others I know who’ve been saved longer than I have. It is a life lived out. This is why we don’t split hairs and stress ourselves out on matters than are not important or not as important. How do we see things? Perspective. Although valid, but it is beyond the glass being half full versus half empty. There are matters that we have to check and to make sure those small matters don’t remain unattended to avoid them becoming bigger matters. But sometimes we choose the wrong battles to attack a person over something that isn’t as big of a deal and in the end…all we did was ruin someone’s chance to go to heaven to prove only one thing that we were right, even if others are not around to see it. This is why we need to be diligent in the things of God. I used to live full-tilt on ministry. From wake to my head crashing on the pillow, it was go go go with ministry responsibilities. From the outside, I looked good. From the outside, I looked like someone to emulate. But inside, that was a whole other matter. And further and more of the problem, I was so busy ministering that I neglected my Christian health with not reading the Bible for me, not because of a rule/standard; to pray to just talk to Jesus, not because of a rule/standard. And there were other things neglected. And it just took patient Satan to wait until I was just right for him to pop me good. And what I thought was there crashed to nothing but a heap.
This is why it is important—well beyond the name of an individual and the things he/she possesses—that there is something that people can truthfully hang their hat on. It is said that Christ grew in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man (Luke 2:52). Could that be said about us? We may had grown in stature, but what of with man? And what of with God? An epitaph written on a tombstone in Copp’s Hill Burying Ground says, “As you are now, so once was I; as I am now, so you must be, prepare for death and follow me. It is said that an unknown passerby added these words, “To follow I’m not content, until I know which way you went.” Others are watching. Others are following. And others are treading right behind in our footsteps. What are we passing on?