One of the eye-opening moments I have witnessed happened twice: it was me witnessing a man within moments right before death. Two men within months apart of their own deaths, were lying on a hospital/nursing home bed gasping for air. The death rattle was evident. I do not wish to impart fear or a morbid image, but I’m talking about mouths wide open gasping for literally their last breaths. Men who were alive, walked, had strength, accomplishments evident in their lives in their own rights. Both had wives, children, grandchildren, etc. And yet here they were at this moment. It was and still is an image that I cannot ever forget.
Concerning my grandfather specifically, my heart broke more. Much would be lost with his passing (and I’ve shared those things before). My wife and I talked about memories of my grandfather to the Baptist home preacher over a video call the final day my grandpa was alive. As we talked I began to understand that he had the difficult duty to prepare for the forthcoming funeral message of a private man (as he had done for a number of residents and times before in his ministry service). Him and I made plans. If you include this tag-team moment, this would be my second funeral to conduct/preach and this one funeral would be the hardest moment of not just in ministry but for my life. And yet there was my grandfather who had lost his ability to speak about day or so prior lying in a bed. His body was shutting down. He had stopped consuming any food days prior.
And as the video call made use by the pastor’s cell phone began to come to an end with me seeing my grandfather gasping and fighting to stay alive, two incredibly memorable moments happened. First I shared my final words to my grandpa whom I had literally known him all my life. But these words are it! There was no more opportunity. Time for questions was long passed. Sitting in his room, let alone the last home he built over 50 years prior, to listen to more stories was over. With every bit of strength I could muster, I spoke a few words to then tell him that it is ok, we are fine, you can go be with grandma (knowing she is already also in heaven with her passing a few years prior). A man who worked hard, fought for his country, and had a firm grasp on life struggled to let go…As if maybe just maybe that his failed body could rise again and he would be back in the nursing home to then see me in a couple of months. He needed to know that he didn’t have to fight any more (and less than 2 hours later he was with Jesus).
And then secondly the pastor asked me to pray over him. Never had I struggled with what to pray or how to pray. It isn’t that I didn’t know how to pray. Even in very hard times, words of power and promise I have uttered to myself and to others. But in this moment, I struggled to truly pray. And it wasn’t that I was discouraged, angry, or disappointed. I accepted his passing. But my heart was heavy; my mind was a whirlwind of this moment and the finality of my grandpa’s life (with me remembering with strong regrets of me not saying goodbyes to my grandmother when she was in a hospital room completely alone years prior and to die alone). Sadness was overflowing my heart and I didn’t want it to end. Despite knowing he would go to heaven, I was saddened that the only person physically there—as to not die alone (what a miserable way to die is for a person to die alone)—was this pastor who made a special and exclusive moment for me (and my wife) so my grandpa would not step from life to eternity alone. And after a moment of praying out loud with the pastor knowing I was struggling, he took the baton to pray not only at this moment but for me as well. I was and am grateful that he did that.
I share this very private and tearful moment (even now I am holding back the tears) as I know I am not alone. This is not us as a child with tear-stained cheeks because our goldfish or puppy died. Perhaps you as the reader had your own similar instance with the passing of a loved one. The disciples were keenly aware of this after Jesus was crucified on the cross. Maybe in a singular moment of what made sense and where life that seemed normal, that everything went from normal or good, to be the recipient of a sucker punch in the gut and now very little makes sense and all the wind is now taken out of our sails. The legs are very wobbly. Our deck of cards fall. The initial question is often asked why with then a yearning to make sense and to search for hope. We are faced with literally life-changing/life-altering choices. Perhaps even purpose and motivation have now changed.
A song (by Petra) that I had heard MANY times was heard again last night and then again this morning prompted me to pause each time recently. John the Revelator sees a future event that the world will crash down. A host of events and things said have passed. The tribulation is in full swing (by Revelation 15). Many people have died. People had shaken their fists to God in defiance and yet with all their power, money, and influence, they were not winning this time. Final punishments through the bowl judgments were about to be loosed. There are no final promises of hope. Tongues cleave to the roofs of their mouths, thirsty for relief to find none. And swirling in the midst of utter destruction, death, and judgment a song breaks out from heaven. Known as the Song of Moses, these words are sung from the heavenly choir (Revelation 15:3-4), “They sing the song of Moses, the servant of God, and the song of the Lamb, saying: ‘Great and marvelous are Your works, Lord God Almighty! Just and true are Your ways, O King of the saints/nations! Who shall not fear You, O Lord, and glorify Your name? For You alone are holy. For all nations shall come and worship before You, for Your judgments have been manifested.’” And with this, there are a few things I would like to lift from this.
First and initially, we can see this is a song similar to those who cheer or chant during a sports event. And at first blush, we can take this as a “yes, God exacted revenge on the heathen”. And yes, that is applicable and true.
And to almost couple this aforementioned thought is the secondary thought, is how righteous, holy, and just God is to judge. That millennia of the Devil and the world seeming to win and the followers of God lose, God is glorified in this judgment that no one can stand to say, there is no God and that we are the masters of our destinies.
But the third and final thought or take away is something that I would like to focus on a little bit. For the Jew, Moses is the pinnacle of aspiration for godliness and accomplishing much for God. There is no denial of this. But we cannot deny and not forget that Moses was also the one who did not hallow God in the eyes of the people and was denied access into the Promised Land. To not taste the fulfillment for God’s promises and to only see it from the top of a mountain is a bit heartbreaking to say the least. Truthfully, it can be devastating. For many, this is a fork in the road of three paths of whether to continue to give it our all for God, to just coast with no more contending, or to quit on God altogether because we partly blame Him for us not getting our due reward (stop rubbing and adjusting your crooked halo over your horns, you know you’ve questioned, doubted, and fought God when pushed (what seemed to be) too far). What do we do? Further and secondly is what I refer to as the perspective adjustment. Just like Job and just like Joseph, and just like many others, we get bogged down with details, chaos, and things we cannot seem to grab a hold to control any more. And with that, this song from a man who only saw the Promised Land but could not partake joyfully declared that God is great and His works are marvelous.
Do I still miss my grandparents? Very much so! But in both cases with their passing, I had to step into ministry responsibilities as well as work and family responsibilities quickly with no time to truly stop to breathe. It could be argued that I have not been allowed to properly or appropriately grieve (and I could agree to that, but to a point). But I submit this question, who is on the throne—in Heaven and in my heart? Will I—speaking metaphorically—be at their grave clutching the soil in front of their tombstones with tears and clenched fists unable to move? Or will my life be surrendered—physically and in submission—to declare truly from my heart, “Just and true are Your ways, O King of the nations”? Hopelessness is not hopelessness in the heart of a follower of Jesus. And despite Moses being in Heaven with God, heaven sang a song from Moses. Perhaps, after our passing, a seed/word we sowed will still bear fruit or make impact after our passing to hang on and trust in God. Hopelessness now may be our voice/vision covered/veiled so we are unable to declare to ourselves, to the brethren, and to this lost world, “Great and marvelous are Your works, Lord God Almighty!” But the Devil didn’t win at Calvary. Christ rose up from the grave and He ascended into Heaven and is seated on His throne. So let our voices declare it with the heavenly host unto the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world, “Great and marvelous are Your works, Lord God Almighty! Just and true are Your ways, O King of the nations! Who shall not fear You, O Lord, and glorify Your name? For You alone are holy. For all nations shall come and worship before You, for Your judgments have been manifested.”